What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

Yo Dawg, I heard You Like Kittens and Volcanoes... So, I threw Your Kitten In A Volcano.

How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

Why was the boy in front of the adoption center sad? He lost his lolly-pop.

All I can say is that its not the feds, and not Interpol nothing "legal" nor anything belonging to the state as far as we can tell. You all stay locked up, and I will make sure this little geek with shitty breath does not say anything about you, as for the rest, I cant say much.

Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

Whats the worst thing your parents could ever do to a teenager? Take there phone.

Why did the Black man kill the White man? So he could end up in jail with the rest of his family.

Once upon a time, there was a Y O U M A D and they all lived happily ever after.

there's a new drink out called the Bin Laden... it consists of two shots and a splash of water

How did the boy compliment the girl? He told her she had a lot of breasts. In return, she told him he had many penises.

Non-Anti-Joke.com!

How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

penis in the camel

how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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