So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

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What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

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Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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She loves me, she dosn't love me, she loves me, the girl walks up to the man and says, she doesn't love me

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Barak Obama, Justin Bieber, and Lindsey Lohan all jump out of a plane. all of their parachutes deploy. except Justin Bieberrs, he then dies of cancer

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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What did little Timmy find at the bottom of the well? The fact that he could no longer breathe and thus causing him to drown.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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