A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What shall we do with the drunken sailor? Call the police to have him escorted off the boat for operating a large veichle under the influence of alcohol.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two muffins are sitting in a oven, The other muffin says to the other muffin nothing, Because muffins are unable of human conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +22

asdasdasdasd

thumb_up thumb_down +22

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops