Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What happened to the asian when he took viagra? He got an erection.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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Yesterday i ate an owl with all the feathers on it

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Bill goes and buys 45 watermelons, what does he have? 45 watermelons.

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Person A - you must be tired, cuz you've been running though my mind all day Person B - i have no legs...

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whats worse than dieing in an airplane? jumping out of the airplane to save yourself and emediatly getting shredded by the massive engine you did not have the wits to see.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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I supported my sisters decision to get an abortion. Still would have been cool to be a dad :/

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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