how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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69

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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What is fat and white? A polar bear with a glandular problem.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Don't matter what you call him he ain't gonna come.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

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Why the moron throw the clock out the window? Because he was a moron.

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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one time, there was this anti-joke.com joke set-up. It was just like a normal joke set-up. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Why did the blonde die? She was slurped up by a 1,000 foot anteater.

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what is worse than gay sex wiping your ass with sandpaper

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What do you put your key on? A key chain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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