What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Call of Duty Infinite Warfare

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What starts with "F" and ends in "uck" Firetruck.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the Jew say to the black guy? Hey whatsup?

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Why did the kid cross the road? To show his friends that he had guts. And man, did he have guts.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

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What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

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A middle aged woman walks into a bar. Its Friday and there is a breeze in the air. She leaves shortly thereafter.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

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Whats The difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash And one is a watermelon

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops