What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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quantum physics?

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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So this chat, the talk on the phone was all a ruse?

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How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why can't Scrillex fish? Because He is too busy to practice fishing.

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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