A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whats big and red and eats rocks? A big red rockeater.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

thumb_up thumb_down -34

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why cant the white man dunk? Because he lost his legs in a horrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

dallen loves penis

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you stop 5 black guys from raping one white girl? You call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I SAID I WANT A GLASS OF JUICE. NOT I WANT TO GAS THE JEWS!-hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A blind man is jumped and doesn't see it coming

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the man eat his cellphone? Because he has a serious mental disability, and did not know that it was not a normal thing to do, and for anybody to laugh at him for doing something like this is just a sick person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops