Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Q: Why did the purple cantalope eat the curtains at midnight? A: Sassafrass.

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A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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yo momma is soo stupid when anyone says anything she say i don't understand .

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They say laughter is the best medicine but i've always found it hard to laugh at cancer.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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David Cameron

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Why were black people mad about slavery? Because they didn't get paid in gum! Holt9 ;P

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops