Knock knock Go away

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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Why did the girl talk to her computer? Because she was Skyping with some faraway friends. Why were her friends far away? She was sent to the moon. Why was she sent to the moon? Because she tried to create eternal night.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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What is blue and has wheels? Grass- I lied about the colour and the wheels.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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