Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Why did the jew kill himself? Because he had no foreskin.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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