there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

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Why does sammy have a cut on her arm? becuase her mom went to go stab her dad and missed

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My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

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Q: why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: what 10 year old WOULDN'T?

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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Why did the cab driver talk about the Holocaust? Because he began to shart his pants while singing pocket full of sunshine as a royal blue pancake swerved across the terrain.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A leg-less man.

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In Soviet Russia, everything you do will have an equal and opposite effect, for the laws of physics still apply in every part of the world. No matter where you are.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? grape. Grape who? Purple grape.

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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