Your moms so fat she weighs 200 kilograms

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Why are hurricanes named after women? They're wet and wild when they come and take your car and house when they leave.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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What did the doctor say to his patient with cancer? "You have cancer...".

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What's the difference between a pizza and a girl? I've stuck my penis in a pizza

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

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What do you call a pool filled with black people? A pool

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Knock Knock Come in

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why did the mans alarm clock go off at six am? he has a high paid job he doesnt want to let down.

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What's the worst part about being a black Jew? You have to sit at the back of the oven.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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whats sad about justin bieber getting hit by a car and dying ? I wasnt driving the car that hit him.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What did the 14 year old girl get on her birthday? A cake that read, "You're adopted"!

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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Jordan is pregant

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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