What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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What's better than a $75 000 salary? 80 000 sticks of celery.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your face belong in the zoo, don't worry I get there too, not in the cage, just visiting you :)

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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Want to hear a joke You're Adopted

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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Suddenly a wild bunny appears ::::::::::::(:oI)

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whats worse then being married to your dog eating your dog out

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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