How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Obama

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Whats worse than a bee sting? -Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? -The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? -Three bee stings.

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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hi michael

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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