How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead become stranded on a desert island. As they are searching for food and shelter, they come across a mystical-looking lamp. They rub the lamp, but nothing happens because genies don't exist.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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