Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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I walk in to a bar, ask for a beer, get drunk, walk away and.... hmmm.. how could I finish the joke??..

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why did the little kids call the boy "pornboy" Because he showed gay porn at the bus stop

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

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What's black white and red all over A Nun after being pushed down the stairs

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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