Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

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how do you get a one armed blonde out of a tree? it doesn't matter. she can't climb up a tree with only one arm.

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What's worse than getting arrested? getting arrested on your birthday.

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Why didn't the man get into Harvard? Because he had bad grades

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why suck a long face the horse shits on the floor and walks out

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Why did ben 10's omnitrix or watch break? Because he kept slapping it.

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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