Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

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Why did the Bruins win against the Flyers? ....they had goal tending.

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salad days!

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Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Why did the boy show off his ps4? Because his mom was rapped and murdered And his dad molested him when he was younger

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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What's long, hard, and in my pants? The SAT's... I lied about it being in my pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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