Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Mogok Papiti.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +19

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops