Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The police, your father just died in a boat accident.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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How do you get a blonde to stop talking? Hit her in the head with a brick.

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Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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roses are red violets are blue tis poem makes no sense so screw you

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A woman walks into a bar She is raped.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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What did the kid in the wheelchair get for Christmas? AIDS.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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