How do you stop a blind kid from walking into oncoming traffic? .................to late!!!!!!!

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the old man get the anti aging cream ? He failed 8th grade 50 times.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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How do you end a sentence

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What did the man say when he put his penis in the blender? Arghhhhhhh!

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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