Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops