Q: What's big, yellow and can't swim? A: A school bus full of children.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

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What do you call Bob if he gets a nose ring? Bob

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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What did Hellen Keller say when she drove up to the stop sign? Nothing, she doesn't drive.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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What did one penguin say to the other Nothing, penguins don't talk.

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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