A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus have in common? Half their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How many Jews can you fit in to a car? Well depending on the car 2-8

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the boy say to the over weight girl your fat

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why couldnt the man stop the car rolling down the hill? Because he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I recently found out I have aids just kiddin heres the real joke... I recenly found out that Philidelphia means "City of Brotherly Love" and I said so do people in philly say its always free hug day in Phillipd fun house in philly?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What happens when a Jewish man with a boner walks into a wall. He gets a broken nose.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops