Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why was six afraid of seven? because seven raped sixes mom

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know when everybody on a plane crash is dead ? When your the only one who walked out

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what did the girl say when she lost her shoe where is my shoe

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man with a PhD walks up to a college student and jokingly says "Hey dude, what did the hat say to the other hat?" The student replies "My name is Joe and a hat does not have a mouth, therefore it cannot speak." The student is then unimpressed on how uneducated the man is, also worring about how the man was able to receive a PhD.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's long and black? A line at KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you know to start calling a fetus a baby? If it cries when you abort it.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's the difference between acne and Michael Jackson? One is a an unsightly blemish that appears on your skin and the other is a dead pop singer.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Can you spell iCup? I see you pee?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops