"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

Why did I call 87 yr old Jamie McMeanBully a douche bag? Because he's sterile

I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

What did the African-American toddler from Compton get for his birthday? Most likely nothing, seeing as his father left his mother briefly after his birth, and his mother uses all of her money to feed her heroin addiction.

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

What happens when you walk around with a kick me sign on your back? you get punched in the face. How are you supposed to know it says kick, you cant see your own back.

My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

A guy walks into a bar and finds a genie. The genie says he'll grant him 3 wishes. He wished for a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. POOF! All 3 wishes were granted to him. The blonde drinks a shot a tequila, the brunette drinks a beer, and the redhead drinks a whiskey. They had a great time.

Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

what the deference between a priest and acne well the acne doesn't come on the kids face tell hes thirteen

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

Pete and Repeat were in a boat, Pete jumped out. Repeat was concerned-not only because his name was typically used as a verb and not something parents normally name a baby, but about why Pete would jump out of the boat? Pete wondered what to do next-should he jump in and see if Pete is okay? He also wondered if he should he change his name to Kevin.

Why didn't Billy's parents get him any birthday presents? Billy was an accident.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nazi Nazi who? I am the mailman. I nazi your mailbox. Can I leave the letters on the front porch?

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

Why did the black homosexual blind man want to go to the comedy club? He enjoys a good laugh

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

why is ginger kid so sad? Because his all family was killed

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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