How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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A pope meets another one

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? ...An innocent, family orientated murder victim.  X

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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And you honored it I see :P

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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Q: Why was the teacher sad? A: Because she got fired

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Roses are red Violets are blue You are green Curse you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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