What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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"Knock, Knock." "Who's There?" "Banana."

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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How are grapes and squirrels similar? They're both purple. Except for the squirrel.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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Q: What happens when the Hydro goes out? A: The Hydro goes out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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