What do you call someone who has slept for 48 hours straight? Dead.

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A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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I love you

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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What did the parents say to their kid? You're adopted and we don't love you.

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what did the little girl with no legs and no arms get for christmas? Cancer

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What is worse than a badly told joke? A badly told Anti-joke.

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What do you call a black pilot? A PILOT

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Whats red and smells like black paint Red paint

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Q: What's white and sticky? A: Glue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops