There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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Q. What happened to the girl who locked her keys in her car? A. I raped her.

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why is the earth mad at the moon? cause the moon mooned the earth

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it? Shoe

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on suicide The librarian gives him permission and he leaves the library with the book in hand.

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AND

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? No I said Lou. Oh hey Lou come on in.

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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What do you call a black lady with big boobs? Oh, wait, it's just a fat black guy.

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Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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Roses are red.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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