My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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a man walked into a bar....

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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What do you say when your hot chocolate is to hot? This hot chocolate is too hot.

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A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

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Why did Chuck Norris's calendar go from March 31st to April 2nd? There was a misprint

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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how many black guys goes it take to screw inalightbulb? just one, but inalightbulb was feeling rather slutty today, so 2.

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What do you call a black man? Rob

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Choir.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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the man walked into the bar and said ur gay

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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Whats louder than a dinosaur? 2 Dinosaurs

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

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UN

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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