what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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Why did the black kid die? He had cancer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree Peer pressure.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did george washington not make it to the prom? because george washington is dead

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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Man: Why do you wear your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Woman: Oh, wow, thanks for pointing that out. Silly me.

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why could'nt Susie talk? The mafia cut out her tounge

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What did the Muslim say to the Jew? Nothing, as he has been deaf since birth and is incapable of forming coherent speech.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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