What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What's johnny's favorite bedtime story? The sound of the subway. Johnny and his father are homeless and can't afford bedtime stories

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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why did the blond sop at a red light? because it was red.

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what is black and blue and hates sex? the ten year old in my trunk.

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Click here to end the world.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Why are black people afraid of tigers? Because tigers eat people

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What do you call a white basketball player? A very athletic hardworking dedicated human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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