when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A black man bites into a watermelon. Just kidding he was white.

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What do you call an attractive woman in a blender? A very rare occurrence.

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Who like vibrating dildos? Cammy

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roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme refrigerator

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Oh wait! i don't care!

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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I have tuberculosis because Ebola is too mainstream.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

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A chicken crosses the road... Gets fined for jaywalking.

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what did the lamp say to the woman Nothing, a lamp is a plastic glass and metal inaminate object therfore it can not speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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