How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Q: When birds fly in a "V", why is one side always longer? A: There is one extra bird on that side

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Gerald: Hey did you know I was named AFTER Abraham Lincoln? Gloria: Because he was born in the 1800's and you were born and named many years afterward? Gerald: Ah... I guess I emphasized that joke a little to much - I'm sorry this conversation happened

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how do you stop a rhino from charging? you shoot it with a gun until it's either dead or no longer charging at you because thats a highly dangerous situation.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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A baby crawls into a bar. He cannot walk.

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

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A black man walks into a bar full of white people. And then... He orders his drink.

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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A bomb went off in japan where did sally go Everywhere

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Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes? A: Fsh

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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