We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jesus walks on water, Humans are 70% water, I can walk on humans, Therefore i am 70% Jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have Somthing To tell you F*** You

thumb_up thumb_down -17

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What Happens if a Muslim boy gives you a bomb? You give it to someone else as your playing tnt tag and the bombs a toy

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is better than one wors roll - two wors rolls

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What should you never give to your friends as a wedding present? An old plastic bag full of rubbish.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

One spooky halloween night, three lonely outcasts walk down a dark street, no longer begging for candy. A cold wind blows through the night air and something rustles in a nearby bush one kid walks over to the bush and picks up his dog "OH THERE YOU ARE, BUDDY!"

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

thumb_up thumb_down -17

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why don't asians use this finger (point at pinky)? because it's my finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops