Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what's blue , and you can urinate on it ? a rim block.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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What happens when a chemist dies? They are given a proper funeral and buried.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

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What did Batman tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What did the man say when an pterodactyl flew into the kitchen while he was having breakfast? Huh, that's strange.

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learn. advance!

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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A whole 'nother.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops