There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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why didnt Tim Tebow go to church? He had practice half an hour before the service was scheduled to start, and to do both was impossible and missing practice would have resulted in disciplinary action from both his coaches and his teammates.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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Why was the mohel touching the little boy's penis? Because that's his job!

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? To End His Suffering On The Farm. Suicidal Mission.... Complete

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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why can't hellen keller drive? Because she is visually impared and there for it would not be safe for her to drive

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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what do you call 3 mexicans in the back of a car? Carpooling to work to save on gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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