Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being raped What's worse than being Raped. Being Raped 2 times by a Giant Scorpion.

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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Microwave

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What did romeo say to Juliet? A lot of things, Then he gave her a flower.

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Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Roses are black, violets are black. I'm Hellen Keller.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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Why did Michael Jackson get so many nose jobs? He was incredibly insecure.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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So coool! How did you do that dinosaur!?

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why was the man walking down the street late at night? Because he's homeless and has nowhere to stay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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