My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Your family tree is like a cactus, its full of pricks. ;P

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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What do you call an Asian who can't drive? Underage, and therefore has not required his license to do so.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Your sex life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2

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Why can't Lake Mossman find his penis? Because he's a fat ass, and he doesn't have any arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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A 14 year old boy's mother walks into his room whilst he is naked. The boy requests for his mother to leave; so she apologizes and leaves as the whole incident was rather embarrasing.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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What do an asian, a black man, and a Mexican all have in common? They all belong minorites that at one time have been outcast by society

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart But the very next day Your body rejected it and you went into cardiac arrest, we both died

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A American seeking into mexico

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops