Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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A man walked into a bar making it immediately apparent that he had no future in competitive limbo.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Why was the mother sad? Because she had just watched her beloved baby get shoved in a blender.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Safety in numbers? Try telling that too six million Jews.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in an apple? having a worm sized penis.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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