Q:What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A: A bike

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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David Cameron

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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Hi I'm makena. I'm a cynical asshole

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penisvaginaorgasm

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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A women left the kitchen.

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Why did the man run over Suzy? He was a serial killer

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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Why is it scientifically proven that even Spider-Man would be a match for Superman? Because none exist. Moral: The only Super Hero... not scientifically proven, but I exist so that makes me stronger than both of them!

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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What's worse than burning your bacon? Finding your daughter decapitated and raped in the basement.

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A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

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A black man walks up to a white man, and the black man says YO DIGGITY DAWG WASSAP FO DRIZZLE PLAYA BEEP BOBOTY BOP. And the white man stands there, confused as to what the black man said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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