Why the kid can't get off the water? Because your feet is on his head

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Its children were just slaughtered.

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Dan walked into a jelly fish

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

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A man walks into a bar. His family has died in a tragic accident and he is trying to drink down the pain.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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SteVen Hawking wals into a bar

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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yo mamas so ugly she is often made fun of andridiculed about her appearance.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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ever tried african food? they neither

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops