Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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that wall over there ->

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Racial equality.

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knock knock? whos there? danielle danielle who? danielle the liar...hehe

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops