What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why aren't anti jokes funny? Idk. Watermelon in your pants, you're adopted.

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Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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Whats the difference between cats and dogs? ....cats suck

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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justin beiber sucks

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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No antijoke here.

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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I literally died laughing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is an animal without a high enough level of intelligence to see the dangers in doing so.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Do you know what God said to Hitler as he approached the gate of heaven? ??????????????????

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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