what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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Why did the elderly lady cross the road? Because an atomic bomb was exploding behind her

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a PS3? Michael was a succesful dancer, singer-songwriter, musician, and philanthropist, whereas a PS3 is a games console.

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chinga tue madre Ryan

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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What's brown and white all over? Chad butthole

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In Soviet Russia a lot of people were killed for voicing their opinion against Stalin

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A white man is found dead in an alley way, who was the murderer? The black guy trying to climb up the walls to escape.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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