What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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a horse walks into a bar. Noticing the potentially dangerous situation everyone leaves, the bartender calls RSPCA who come and retrieve the horse and order is restored.

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

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What did the boy say after he got hit by a bus? Nothing. He's dead.

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"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

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What did 4 Year Old Jonny get for his birthday? Death.

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Q. want to hear the biggest lie in the world ? A. sure A.I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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An epileptic man attends a rave.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Pickle

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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