What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

When life throws you lemons, your first instinct is to make lemonade. Due to your severe lemon allergy, however, you will die within several minutes and therefore have no viable method of creating said lemonade. You die horribly and your death sparks a movement against the biological warfare of life.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

a girl had just gotten dumped by her boyfriend over a text message. she got very sad and became suicidal

How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

they say a rolling stone gathers... speed until it reaches maximum potential speed and cannot go any faster.

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

How do you stop a plane? Land it.

Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

Why did the baby stop laughing? Would you if you pooped your pants?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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