Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a black guy african american

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? A. One is white, plastic and dangerous to young children, the other is a plastic bag.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Chick Norris... Enough said

thumb_up thumb_down -9

toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There is a bus full of puppies and babies with a plane flying above it carrying 2 tons of explosives. The Bus arrives safely at its destination.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Whats Worse Than 21 Dead Babies in a Trashbag? A: 1 Dead Baby In 21 Trashbags.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops