Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

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im typing this without looking at the jetviard. I can;t toycg type thar wekk yet

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You are a prostitute. I have a dollar.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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What did Dmitri say to all his friends? Nothing he has no friends

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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My dog barks when someones at the door.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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guess what? WHAT? Idk.

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josh- your a strange boy. liam- yes. due to by up bringing i have been exposed to unusual situations that most people do not encounter therefore affecting how i behave. Secondly the definition of normal is varying from person to person making being normal to every human being difficult to even the most capable of people. Essentialy Josh i care little for you comment. *josh was a black man who died of cancer 6 weeks after this incodent*

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rent a cops

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Do you smell that? Sex and candy?

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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