Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Women's Rights

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Eating mud

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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How did Ronald McDonald die He was hit by a big mac

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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p lkl

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops