Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy. But I have Alzheimer's... Hey, I just met you...

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

Are you gay. No. Ok.

There is a very old lady at the bottom of a long flight of steep stairs with a large amount of groceries piled up in her hands. How did she make it to the top?? She walked.

Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Ben." Ben who?" "Ben Dover!" "Ben,it's been 7 years. I already moved on and have a new husband and family. Stop coming here or I'm calling the police."

What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

What's the difference between Santa and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney.

What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

Why did Little Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Kncok Whose there? Not Sally

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

if life gives you melons, then you're most likely dyslexic.

A bar walks into a man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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