Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

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What do you call a small chinese person? They prefer the term little person to the term midget.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue Last night was amazing, I have Aids

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

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I was walking down a railway line the other day... I was fined £1000

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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child labor

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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I am thinking of a number between 1 and 100 what is it There are many numbers between 1 and 100 so it is highly unlikely that I will guess the right number

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Bro my d*ck is like 20 inches. That's not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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Can midgets still have big dreams?

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YOU

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Whats big, grey, and cant climb trees? A carpark

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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